Every Tenth Estonian is Ashamed of Their Home

During the Corona era, the blurred boundaries between home and work life can leave us quite vulnerable. A recent YIT study shows that as many as one in ten Estonians feel ashamed of their home in front of guests. This particularly affects young people up to 30 years old.

There can be many reasons for home shame – yellowed corridor ceilings, tired wallpaper, old furniture, or worn floors. The appearance of the house and yard can also cause stress in homeowners, as well as unpleasant odors in the corridor, which is particularly difficult to fix as a tenant, since in that position it's either not allowed or impractical to spend your own money on repairs.

„It can also manifest itself in smaller worries like unwashed dishes in the sink or unsorted laundry that prevents us from inviting friends over. Home shame can also be described as the fear that other people won't accept or love us if we don't maintain a constant facade of tidiness, and when it starts to interfere with life, it's terribly unfortunate," says Kadi Aljas, housing development expert at YIT. "While the survey results showed that 10% of Estonians feel home shame, the results among 18-29 year olds are significantly different from the average. In this age group, as many as 17% of respondents found that they rather or very much tend to feel ashamed of their home in front of guests," she adds.

Differences are also evident between men and women: only 8% of men rather or very much felt ashamed of their home, while among women the corresponding proportion was 14% of respondents.

When asked what bothers people most about their current homes, respondents pointed to lack of space, location in an unattractive neighborhood, and the fact that their current homes require some renovation. Similar to people who feel home shame, more than 10% of people found that they are simply tired of their current home.

Aljas reflects that one reason could be the move to home offices, which has forced us to combine our work and home life in an entirely new way. In her view, this can be unpleasant for some people, because in addition to your face, other private things also appear in the picture: people or pets moving in the background, family photos, and other fragments of what your home looks like and how clean it is.

"Despite the fact that through social media we see photos of each other's living spaces more than ever before, people and their homes have actually become very private. Our society sends strong messages that if your home is tidy, you are a better person, and who among us doesn't want to present our best sides when presenting ourselves to others?" says Aljas.

According to Aljas, greater social media use is one of the factors why home shame is more characteristic among women and young people. "Social media deepens the image that all of us live in always tidy and trendy furnished homes. The higher percentage among young people can also be explained by a more active social life – at a younger age, the social circle is usually larger and there are more visits to each other than later in life," she adds.

In today's real estate and construction boom, the YIT representative also sees home shame as one of the factors that prompts people to redesign their current apartments or even exchange them for new ones. "Today, the price difference between old and new apartments on the market is quite small, which actually means that if you don't have a special emotional connection to your current home, it's worth considering saving for a down payment on a new apartment instead of a renovation fund. The market is active, so there's no reason to fear that an old apartment won't find a buyer," says Aljas and adds that a home should be a place where each person feels good. "If the appearance of your home today causes great stress and shame instead of motivation, it's definitely worth consulting with a bank about whether and in what amount they would be willing to finance the purchase of a new home," she says.